The Hero archetype

This is one of the most recognizable and celebrated archetypes in mythology, literature, and psychology. Rooted in Carl Jung’s concept of archetypes and expanded upon by Joseph Campbell in his work on the Hero’s Journey, the Hero archetype represents the quintessential figure of bravery, self-sacrifice, and transformation.

### Characteristics of the Hero Archetype

1. **Courage and Bravery**: Heroes are often characterized by their willingness to face danger and overcome significant obstacles. Their bravery is not the absence of fear but the ability to act despite it.

2. **Self-Sacrifice**: Heroes are willing to put their own needs and desires aside for the greater good. This selflessness often leads them to take on great personal risks for the benefit of others.

3. **Transformation and Growth**: The Hero’s journey typically involves significant personal growth and transformation. Through their adventures and trials, they evolve and mature, gaining wisdom and insight.

4. **Quest and Adventure**: The Hero is usually on a quest or mission, which serves as the narrative framework for their story. This quest often involves a series of trials and challenges that test the Hero’s resolve and character.

5. **Moral Integrity**: Heroes often embody strong moral principles. They strive to do what is right, even when it is difficult, and serve as a moral compass for others.

6. **Exceptional Skills**: Whether through natural ability or rigorous training, Heroes often possess skills or talents that set them apart. These can be physical, intellectual, or supernatural.

### The Hero’s Journey

Joseph Campbell outlined the Hero’s Journey, a narrative structure that many Hero stories follow. This journey is divided into several stages:

1. **The Call to Adventure**: The Hero receives a call to leave their ordinary world and embark on a journey. This call often comes in the form of a challenge, quest, or adventure.

2. **Refusal of the Call**: Initially, the Hero may be reluctant to accept the call due to fear, doubt, or a sense of inadequacy.

3. **Meeting the Mentor**: The Hero encounters a mentor who provides guidance, wisdom, and often magical assistance to help them on their journey.

4. **Crossing the Threshold**: The Hero commits to the journey and crosses the threshold from the ordinary world into the unknown, where the adventure truly begins.

5. **Tests, Allies, and Enemies**: The Hero faces a series of trials and challenges, making allies and encountering enemies along the way. These experiences test their resolve and help them grow.

6. **Approach to the Inmost Cave**: The Hero approaches the central challenge of their journey, often facing their greatest fears.

7. **The Ordeal**: The Hero undergoes a significant trial, often facing death or a symbolic equivalent. This is a moment of crisis that leads to transformation.

8. **The Reward**: After overcoming the ordeal, the Hero receives a reward. This can be an object, knowledge, or a new understanding.

9. **The Road Back**: The Hero begins the journey back to the ordinary world, often facing additional challenges.

10. **The Resurrection**: The Hero faces a final test, emerging renewed and transformed. This stage often symbolizes rebirth.

11. **Return with the Elixir**: The Hero returns to the ordinary world with the “elixir,” which can be literal or symbolic, and uses it to benefit others.

### Examples of the Hero Archetype

– **Mythology**: Hercules, with his twelve labors, is a classic Hero who undertakes seemingly impossible tasks.
– **Literature**: Frodo Baggins from J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” embarks on a perilous journey to destroy the One Ring.
– **Movies**: Luke Skywalker from “Star Wars” follows the Hero’s Journey, evolving from a farm boy to a Jedi Knight.

### Psychological Implications

– **Personal Growth**: Embracing the Hero archetype can inspire individuals to pursue their own personal growth and face their challenges head-on.
– **Overcoming Adversity**: The Hero’s journey serves as a metaphor for overcoming adversity and achieving one’s goals.
– **Self-Discovery**: The Hero’s transformation reflects the process of self-discovery and the realization of one’s potential.

### Conclusion

The Hero archetype is a powerful and enduring symbol of human potential and resilience. It resonates across cultures and eras, illustrating the universal quest for growth, courage, and the triumph of good over evil. Understanding the Hero archetype can provide valuable insights into personal development and the nature of the challenges we face in life.

When you’re hunting for a man to fall in love with – for want of a better way of putting it – it’s useful to know some of the things about your “prey” that might not be obvious to you at first sight.

And one of those things is how men see sex and love.

I mean, you, as a woman, know very well how you feel about the connection between love and sex. Sex is probably the physical expression of a deeply felt love for a man, at a level that seems to take over your soul.

You value sex, as a way of connecting with somebody truly special to you, perhaps even the man who you want to have fall in love with you, the man with whom you wish to remain in relationship for the rest of your life.

But you may not fully understand how men see sex.

I’ve worked with men who have all kinds of addictions, and sexual issues like low and high sex drive.

And what I know is that many men use sex as a way of connecting with their need for love, intimacy, connection, comfort, soothing and care.

That’s not to say that men don’t like nonsexual contact. We all know how soothing and comforting it is to have a hug or a cuddle.

But to understand men’s psychology around sex, you need to understand why sex can become a way for a man to express his desire for physical or even emotional connection with the woman he loves.

And this comes down to the fact that many men in society are brought up to believe that it’s somehow shameful, weak or feminine to express their need for connection.

(Keep in mind that when we talk about connection here were talking about both spiritual, emotional and physical connection.)

So a man who’s been brought up in this way may feel sad, but have no way of articulating that sadness. Believe it or not, it’s even possible he doesn’t know he’s sad.

But his human instincts will propel him to look for some kind of connection. And because of the way he’s been brought up to think about men’s role in society, and men’s relationships with emotions, he may believe that what he actually wants is to have sex. I mean, it’s a great way of connecting, isn’t it?

you may well meet a man who thinks it’s weak or unmasculine to allow a woman – even when he has fallen in love with you – to know that he is lonely, isolated or sad.

He may, however, find it perfectly acceptable to ask for sex. And no wonder! Sex would certainly satisfy his need for human connection.

So you could see a desire for sex at the root of almost any desire for connection and love, even when it might be expressed more appropriately.

An example which comes to mind here is how men often think a woman is going to want to make love after they’ve had an argument – for a man it’s perfectly logical. For a woman it’s inconceivable. What he’s searching for is reconnection, and what she feels is complete disconnection.

And don’t forget, too, that sexual excitement is a basic human drive in its own right.

But it can become tangled up with feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, anger and fear.

When you get that cocktail of feelings going on, it’s no wonder that many men – and perhaps even a lot of women – aren’t entirely clear about what they’re feeling.

It’s just a clever way in which the human mind ensures that our basic human needs for connection and contact with another human being are met.

And of course, as I said before, we live in an age where young boys and men aren’t encouraged to express their feelings or show their authentic selves.

We have a narrow definition of masculinity which pretty much means men are allowed to express sexual excitement and anger as their two main feelings. Anything else is pretty much disapproved of.

At least, that’s how men feel about it. I’m sure a lot of women would be delighted if their men were more authentic and could express feelings other than sexual desire and anger!

Anyway, the bottom line is that if you’re in love with a man, or you want to help a man fall in love with you, you need to remember this:  the tender emotions we all feel such as sadness, love, the desire for connection, fear and even a need for intimacy, can be expressed as sexual desire in men.

Think about it! When you’re making love, a man can get held, stroked, hugged, physically soothed, and express and receive love under the guise of sexual intercourse.

What You Can Do for a Man Who’s Fallen in Love With You

• You can accept his feelings of sadness, fear, joy and excitement as normal, and encourage him to express them.
• You can tell him that the need to connect with other human beings is one of most basic desires, and it’s not specific to men or women, and it doesn’t need to be expressed through sexual intercourse.
• You can invite the men in your life to investigate their thoughts and feelings in a non-judgemental environment, and reassure them you certainly don’t think of them as weak or feminine.
• You can remember that both men and women can be weak and strong in different ways, and the key to emotional well-being is to recognize all these parts and hold them in a respectful way.
• And you can watch a film with him about how men are socialized to suppress very natural feelings. It’s entitled The Mask You Live In by Jennifer Siebel Newsom and it’s available on Netflix.